It’s the last day of my 5-day leave from Residency and I decided to wake up early at 430am and do my usual daily routine to somehow “acclimatise” myself for work that comes the next day.
It was a dark gloomy morning at my condo in Shaw Boulevard. As soon as I stood up, I did my usual routine -two glasses of water, Morning Prayer, and the proverbial 20 push-ups. Then a pile of books on the coffee table started to catch my attention –they were Adams and Victor’s, Snell, Carpenter, Anschel, White, Goldberg, and Greenberg. I startled for a while. Thoughts rushed in. And suddenly I felt weak, knelt down, and tears started falling from my eyes –at first drop by drop… and then they just dripped and gushed out like that of a dam full of water that finally broke.
“Why Lord?” I asked. “What is the meaning of this? What is the meaning of life?”
I couldn’t control my emotions at that time, so I did what every sporty, poignant man would do – donned my running shoes and ran my heart out around Ortigas. After a good 5 kilometers, I started to reflect on what happened earlier. Why the sudden gush of emotions?
Well, maybe because those books symbolized dreams. Dreams that for some reasons drifted away from me… or was it me who allowed them to get away from my grasp?
Dreams are probably something that connects all of us, because we all had it since we were kids, and we definitely still have it now –some with the same childhood dreams, while some may have shifted and changed into adult dreams; some still striving hard to achieve their dreams, while some already living their dreams.
This morning’s bewilderment led me to remember a homily of a good friend, Fr. Xavier Olin, SJ, that he shared at Carmelite Monastery during one of his visits in Bacolod (the City where I grew up and where I’m currently based).
It is important to know and define your dreams… for they will guide you in finding your life’s purpose… But it is more important to know God’s dreams for you… for they are the answers to your heart’s desires.
As we try to realize our dreams, may we never forget that no matter how big our dreams are for ourselves, the biggest, grandest, and most important dreams would still be the dreams of God for us.
Our biggest challenge is how to figure them out. Some find it in an instant. While some, would have to go through a long series of ups and downs. Some would even lose their way in searching for it.
Let us not give up in finding out God’s dreams for us. Because even God himself will never give up on us. It is just there. We just have to find it. We just have to listen to our heart’s desire. We just have to listen to Him.
So let me ask you, what are your dreams? Do you think they are God’s dreams for you as well?